Wednesday, October 28, 2009

How far to go for family?

I have now reached the point where I simply cannot listen to yet another repulican person claim that they shouldn't pay taxes for this or for that. Especially in the midst of this health care debate.

You see I am someone who holds politics very high up in my heart and in the list of topics that I like to discuss. Spending time with family and biting my tongue all week-end not to bring up any political issue is a lot of work for me but I will do it (not every week-end but once or twice a year) because I love family and I love that it gives us a privileged opportunity to experience a diversity of opinion when we otherwise tend to stick with like-minded people who share our values.

But you see, my in-laws don't censor themselves. They will drop a political bomb in an otherwise casual conversation whenever they can. My husband has claimed that he has confronted his parents (his mum especially who is so sel-absorbed, judgemental and patronizing, she just wants to impose her views anytime she can and with me she fails miserably but can't admit it). I suspect that he didn't confront her or if he did, he did it like a wimp. He is not too confrontational. This is the side of him that bothers me the most and that could potentially break up our marriage.

So at this stage, I simply choose not to be around my husband's family anymore. It actually saddens me deeply. Family is a value for me, but like I said, listening to some selfish republican speeches coming from people who simply don't listen to others has crossed the line for me. I blame my husband a little bit for not standing out for me more firmly (and God knows I cut him a lot of slack otherwise in our daily lives but for this I simply can't). The question is: how far are you willing to compromise for family. If everyone could just stick it and bite their tongue equally, I would go. But if it's just me, I just feel disrepected.

Don't get me wrong: I am not the ultimate lefty. I believe that public finances should be watched closely, but I also believe that social injustice unfortunately exists and I believe in solidarity. I mostly have no tolerance for people who make outrageous contradictions, and republicans who go to church do. I am sorry but how can you claim you are a Christian if you don't want to help out people who may not have it as easy as you? It's your right but do not dare to say you're a Christian. Same with the death penalty.

And here is a great article from E. Berstein:

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